it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
