I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
