It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
