i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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