He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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