What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
