Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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