Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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