After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
