I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
