It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
