Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He has the fingertips of a God
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
