So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
