"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm passing your future prison.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
