didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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