I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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