I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So drunk its hurt
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
