She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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