Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
