dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
