i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
