Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
