Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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