I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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