if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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