im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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