look no pants
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
