Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize