shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
