Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
