There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
