Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
