Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
