So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
