Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
