Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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