i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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