some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have already put on my inside pants.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
