I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
