you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
