Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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