Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
