Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
