I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
