Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
