Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
