I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Nicole vs. Life
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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