How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
