The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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