i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
