I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
