if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
