For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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