You're so nebulous sometimes
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
