Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
