Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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