In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
