so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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