Cold hands, warm shart.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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