booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have aggressive nipples.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
