I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
