Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
